I am and always will be devastated that I can’t have anymore children because of the life or death risk. My self and my husband wanted boy a son and a daughter and we ended up with two amazing sons. I wrote a post not condemning mother’s with daughters that wasn’t my intention at all. There were a lot of things that I should have worded differently and more resources that I should have consulted. I don’t often get time to actually write a full blog post in one sitting and when I do I don’t always double check a mistake I won’t be making again.
Mothers have such a hard job raising good kids. Raising children that will be ready and able to take this world by storm. I’ve been having a really hard week mental health wise which is another contributing factor to my miss wording and lack of research. Mania sometimes takes me by storm, and sometimes like a thief in the night where I think I’m brilliant and in reality I’m just me.
I know I have things to work through. One of them mourning the fact that I’ll never have the big family I always dreamed about. Dealing with my medical trauma -which I’ve chosen as of late to bury deep deep down inside me and ignore it. Which is probably why I have been waking up with panic attacks this past two mornings.
I’m not making excuses I’m just trying to self process. I apologize deeply for the post that offended so many it was NOT my intention. It wasn’t until the crash after mania that I managed to pull myself out of bed, and realize the mistake I made. And I’m sorry.
I’m just a human, I’m not perfect and I deal with this daily. My need for perfection crippling me to the point that nothing gets done and I lay in bed all day wishing with all of my being that I were like Mom Brady, or at least a mom that has it together. I don’t. Not even close.
And I’m so sorry that I wrote a post that was taken offensively.
I’m sorry I did not address this sooner but when you can’t get out of bed and only have enough spoons to care for your children and then go back to bed while they watch TV on their Kindles, rinse and repeat.
I was wrong. My wording was wrong. And I’m sorry.