First I was raped. In college 2006. That’s all you need to know about that. I won’t go into the details. They are triggering to me and to many other survivors. I will never call a sexual assault survivor a victim because it is so insulting to me. You survived a horrible trauma. Possibly even over a long period of time, or maybe it was a one-one thing.
So here’s the problem with the #metoo posts. Firstly you’re putting a target on your back for every preditor online. Because rape is about control and not sex. So not only are you trying to do something good that could be putting you in danger but you also may be triggering another person who’s not handled their trauma.
Secondly. There’s something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that causes panic attacks, flashbacks, and other really awful things. You never know if by posting your story you could be triggering someone else. 1-4 women every 15 minutes are raped. 1 in 6 men. 85% of rape goes unreported because of the rape culture we are currently in. Because these trauma’s go unreported that means these people do not get treatment, counseling, or even closure from convicting their assaulter.
Being a survivor you have to relearn to live with the trauma. Feeling dirty, unworthy, like a whore, like you asked for it. Just to name a few. You could spiral into depression or self harm or addiction, no two people have the same reaction. Yes sharing your story is powerful for you, And yes we should educate people about rape and rape culture.
Also you don’t owe your story to anyone. If you’re like me you are a safe person to confide in about sexual assault, and I will not judge you and take you to counseling or to the ER. I will drag your ass out of a party if you’re too drunk. I will be your fake lesbian girlfriend if need be.
But I will not trigger another human being with my traumatic story. My past is my past and I’ve grown from it.