I lost all 3 of my dogs last night.

Yesterday I went over to my Mom’s house for a very small dinner to celebrate Jason turning 2. This is also a very hard week for me considering that I’m dealing with medical PTSD. Meaning I don’t want to be alone in the house with just me and the kids because I over think myself into a depression.
Well, I came back mid day, walked the dogs made sure water was available to them and that they were content. I have been so busy with the wedding decor crafting that I must have missed some signs or something.. because when I came home my beloved Tiny was dead. The bigger dogs attacked her and killed her.
I was hysterical, to say the least. Tiny was a very old dog and a small breed, she didn’t have the means to defend herself and my Mother and Ron came over to make sure I was alright and the kids wouldn’t see her get put into my boot box for her burial.
At first, we thought she might have just passed from old age, but we found blood on the carpet, door, and laundry basket, which I spent today cleaning up what I couldn’t get last night. DJ of course won’t be home until EARLY Wednesday so it was just me and the boys. When Ron told me a very mild version of how badly Tiny was injured I told DJ to have someone come get the dogs and take them to the pound. I missed so many signs that other people saw, because I wanted to see the good in these dogs and ignore the bad.
Dj’s mom came and got them last night so they wouldn’t be around the children and I while we were sleeping. Tiny was the oldest, and the dog that I’d had the longest. I had her since 2011 and she was my baby. I’m so heart broken that I missed the signs of aggression with the other dogs.
So we are now a dog free home. Maybe for good. I need time to grieve and I’m unsure just how long I will need. But I did do some major cleaning today with shampooing the floors and making sure the rooms were vacuumed. I’m continuing on with my minimalism challenge and trying to simplify my life and surroundings.
I’m honestly doing all I can to keep myself from crying any more than I already have been. John put his head on my shoulder last night and gave me a hug and that’s where he fell asleep.
RIP Tiny. I’m so very sorry I missed the signs. I’m sorry that you had to die like that. I miss you so much.

2 Comments

  1. Manda

    July 18, 2017 at 7:57 pm

    I’m so very sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. Nonna

    August 10, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    I’m very sorry for your loss — something similar happened with my dog back in ’08 & sadly sometimes there simply aren’t any signs to look out for. My dog was a beautiful, intelligent and kind dog and still attacked me at age 11, out of the blue, and had to be put to sleep. It’s just.. unfortunately.. one of those things. Dogs still have their primal side and who knows what triggers it sometimes. Don’t blame yourself or drop into the world of “what ifs” because honestly, there might not have been anything there to imply toward aggression — the aggression might’ve been born out of a situation and flared up with tragic results.

    And you may say that other people saw signs but it could be just people reacting to the breeds themselves (reading your sidebar, at least one of the listed dogs is a “notorious” type), wanting to see certain behaviour displayed because it’s the stereotype.

    Either way, none of this was your fault — right now just focus on grieving and healing.

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