When your suffering has gone too long
For the last month I have been suffering every single day of migraine headaches or severe headaches that still leave me not functioning at life. There have been days on end where I lay on the couch propped up by pillows with a cold rice sock on the back of my neck and not nearly enough pain medication in my system, Tylenol has stopped working all together, and the stronger over the counter pain medications NSAIDS, I can’t safely take being a WLS patient and having my stomach recently recovered from having 9 surgeries.
When I went to my doctor seeking relief I asked her for Vicodin. I told her I didn’t want to have to ask, but I was running out of options. And one of my past doctors had given me that years ago to help me with the migraines when I got them and I found out I was allergic to Immitrex.
But she didn’t want to prescribe them to be in case it masked symptoms. Which I totally understand, but the neurology appointment isn’t until July. That’s a lot of days away to wait and keeps suffering every single day from these life haulting migraines. So I took matters into my own hands and ordered CBD oil. I did the research and I talked to my doctor and she agreed its a better option than opiate therapy which would at this point be my only other option for the migraine treatment because I can not take NSAIDS.
I just got my shipping confirmation this afternoon and they should be here on Saturday. I pray that this will give me relief. That the pain will stop. I’ve already altered my diet. I’ve gotten a sleep number bed. I’ve changed my reading habits. I’ve made an eye doctor’s appointment and called the hospital to be put on a cancellation list. I’ve even thought about getting my back adjusted. I’ll be documenting this with the blog and how it works (or doesn’t) for me.
I’m depressed, because I’m in pain and my life is now a revolving door around pain, around the face that I’m missing out on church, life, my children, and that I have become dependent on something to keep me sane again (antidepressants) and that one of the medications for the fibromalgia made me suicidal and I’ve been fighting these headaches for over a month and I’m terrified its a brain tumor because let’s face it my luck isn’t all that great when it comes to medical crap.
My insides got stuck and died, then exploded causing sepsis. I had eight surgeries and almost died. Three times. Had a ninth surgery found out epidurals don’t work on me. So yeah… my luck isn’t that great here. And I’m terrified. My life has been a run of “meh” to “Holy effing balls”. So here’s to hoping that this isn’t a “Holy effing balls” year. Cause I really want to marry my best friend.