So the other night, I was having a bit of an anxiety attack and I was on the phone with my Mother because I hate the fact that I felt the NEED to call Dj because I was so sad, so fear ridden and so over whelmed with everything… well he called in the middle of this conversation and I asked him if he felt a disturbance in the force and cried to him. I cried because Aaron’s told us one price when we signed the contracts and it ended up being over $100 more this month than what they told us last month. I wasn’t happy. Then my step son decided that he didn’t want to come this weekend because of the snow, or being nervous I’m not sure. But that kind of broke my heart a bit because I miss my family and he’s apart of that. I felt so bad after ward and I thought DJ was so mad at me that I ended up having nightmares most of the night, and when I talked to him yesterday he promised he wasn’t mad at me that he understood it was my pregnancy hormones.
I am so blessed and glad that he’s my fiance and that he’s going to be in my life for the rest of my life. I asked him the other day if he could promise to TRY to stay with me for the rest of our lives. And he replied back that he’d do better than to try but he’d do it. He’s been such an awesome man and has taught me a lot about myself and about being happy in the past few months. I miss him every day don’t get me wrong but there’s this huge part of me that is so proud of him for sacrificing so much to provide for this family. I appreciate him so much. So he’s hoping to be home at some point this weekend and I’m praying he does get to come home.
Me? I have the cleaning/nesting/writing bug. I don’t wanna do shit but write or be lazy but there’s apart of me that wants to clean all the things.