Not everyone has that Hollywood perpetuated moment where they see the person they will marry and the light frames their head and face, and the rest of the world disappears. I am one of the lucky ones that did. Only it didn’t exactly work out to my advantage.
You see the man I’m with now, I dated in high school, twice. We dated my freshman year and then again my Jr year. It was the first day of school and my best friend JJ leads me to this table at lunch, because we were some of the lucky freshman that got placed in the upper class’s lunch period because my freshman class was so effing big. She introduced me to Howard, a friend of hers and then sitting next to him was this blond haired blue eyed boy and the world just went away. It was him and me, and he winked at me and my heart stopped beating. We became best friends, then we dated, and then he moved.
When he moved he had this one night stand that never left, he ended up marrying and through it all we never stopped being best friends. I’d told him time and time again that I just wanted him, and only him and that I would do anything in my power to make him happy, and to make sure he was cared for, and that he and his son felt loved and wanted.
No lines were ever crossed I must stress that. We texted, we talked we were best friends. We are best friends. My last relationship ended up in flames and the place that I had lined up, that ended up falling through belonged to his mother. Well while the trailer was getting cleaned out because his mother is a hoarder. (She has two trailers full, two sheds, and several other properties that are full.) I stayed with Becki, his sister in law. Well he showed up there the day he’d left his now ex and begged me for one more chance. I told him to be careful with me because I’d become so broken but that we could take it slow, and try again. I wasn’t going to give up my best friend this time. I couldn’t.
We went to get his fire arms out of the house because his ex is suicidal and frankly crazy as shit. And she flipped her shit surprise surprise. Well we ended up having to get a PFA [1.Pennsylvania’s pathetic excuse for a restraining order. Protection From Abuse.] on her because she trashed his SUV and stole several caps off the car. (I mean seriously if you’re going to trash a car, do it right here ladies. Don’t leave the car running.) And it was just one night mare after another.
After things finally settled down and he found a job on the road, we found housing, or so we thought… off we went on the road. Then I began getting sick. I was tired all the time, sleeping a lot. I knew it wasn’t depression because for the first time in my life I was HAPPY. Then my period didn’t come. So day 4 of my missing period (And you can test positive ten days after conception.) I peed on the stick and it came back positive. I held back tears as I walked out to the car with the test wrapped in a towel and thought to myself, well if he doesn’t kill me now, he never will.
He smiled and was over joyed, he being a parent, and a damn good one already was excited. Me? I was terrified. I was so scared that I would miscarry like the two other times I’d been pregnant. I thought the world was coming to an end because I wasn’t ready to raise a baby, hell I wasn’t done raising myself. The morning sickness, became worse and soon we were home for the first appointment.
I’d had a few OCD oriented breakdowns because of how bad the ex left the house. She’d locked Medusa a golden retriever in a bedroom and never took her outside. Never fed her, the only dog out of three we inherited was the cockier that has taken a liking to me. Well anyways, we rehomed two of the three dogs and got the place cleaned up as best we could given the time frame. I bought wall stickers and posted them in the living room and we began making it our home. The ex signed off the lease giving up her rights to anything in the house, and at first we were nice to try to get her stuff out of our home, then we just ended up saying eff it, she refuses to follow a simple custody agreement she has no rights so there for we are just going to toss her stuff, save us grief. I ended up having to change my number even because of how much harassment this woman was using against us. Effing cunt is what she was being. Anyways. Back to the first baby appt.
The SUV broke down, the timing belt went on it and we had to depend on his mother and his mother’s boyfriend to give us a ride. They were really, really late. But I’d called and explained the situation and the Packard let me be seen anyways. Standing out on the drive way I lost it. I broke into tears explaining how terrified I was that this baby would have no heart beat. That I couldn’t go through this again, that we’d dreamed of this little baby and we were both planning a nursery and the future with our family. He’d said over and over again that his ex meant nothing to him and that I was his family now, and little blip of course. I was having nightmares. I was beyond crying at this point. And he wrapped his arms around me and told me that we’d get through this together.
Then the dildo cam happened. Its the Packard’s policy to do an internal ultra sound to measure the crown to rump length to measure weeks. Well I got my Pap and the ultra sound at the same time and I heard the baby’s heart beat and I cried. I was so beyond happy that my baby was alive and even though its a small manatee thing right now, we made this beautiful baby. We both got ultra sound pictures, and we made our next appointment, got my blood drawn for the first series of tests and off we went. Happy and more in love than ever before. And that my dear reader’s is my story of my love.