The Truth about my Melting Body

I’m a Fat Girl  Former Fat Girl. You see when I was super sized I was probably close to 400 lbs. I am now 220 lbs and before now I never notice how much of body has begun melting.

My body is no longer soft and supple. I couldn’t see the stretch marks when I was that big. I was just me. I had DD breasts and they were perky and looked great in the latest bra. My shirts fit right, and yes my belly was big but it was soft. My arm pits and legs were easier to shave and the only perk of loosing this much weight is that my girly bits are easier to shave now.

Now my breasts are a small C they sag and you can see where all the stretch marks had been, they are not as perky and they are kind of lumpy. My stomach sags and the loose skin hangs. I find pants that fit and they cause a muffin top making me look larger and heavier that I really am. There are days were I feel huge and unsexy and ugly as sin.

If I wave goodbye to you feel special! My upper arms will still be waving 5 full seconds after my hand stops. The bingo flaps tend to do that. The skin on your thighs is fragile and tears easily and the sagging loose skin is heart breaking.

I often ask myself why I let myself get that big to begin with. I was ugly then and while I feel like I am prettier in ways now, my melting body makes me self conscious about wearing short shorts and tank tops. I am almost dreading this summer and the heat it will bring. I won’t be able to wear the shapers as often because of how warm they will be.

I don’t feel sexy. I feel disgusted and ashamed at myself for getting so large to begin with.

1 Comment

  1. Jenn

    April 20, 2013 at 11:16 pm

    *hugs* Me, my loose skin, and my boobs-that-look-like-an-80-year-old’s-when-I-lean-over-without-a-bra are right there with you.

    But you are sexy. And you’ll be getting sexier as you build up your confidence.

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