I went with Cory to his parents house early Saturday, I tried to have a cup of coffee but the damn dog drank it on me. I washed my cup and was going to get another but I got busy trying to get the kitchen cleaned up. Cory came home from the garage and I packed enough meds for that day and the next morning and off we went.
I’ll be honest I needed that break. On the way home I was thinking about how close his family is and how much love they have and I wondered if I belonged yet. I feel like, anymore, that I don’t belong anywhere. Since Michigan I feel like I shouldn’t be in the country and enjoy it, at the same time I want to be here. Its very confusing. I keep having nightmares that my ex wants to come back into my life and frankly I don’t care enough to even expand on that than I deserve better.
I also keep having nightmares that I’m going to end up single again. So I wake up with this vicious anxiety and just want Cory to hold me but I’m not sure if I ever want to explain the nightmares. I’ve had them for so long that I’ve gotten used to dealing with the anxiety.
I came home did three loads of wash, hung two of them out to dry, ran out of room on the cloths line and ended up leaving the third load in the washer so I can rewash it when I get done with the dentist. >.< I hate dentists.