It hit me last night before I went to a friends house for poker and drinks (New Years Eve Party among friends.) that I needed to stop, slow down and just stop trying to find the love of my life for awhile. Giving up on love and living life seemed to be my best option. Its not that I don’t want love, I’m a very loving person and I have a lot of love to give. But the hell I’ve been through has made me very distrustful of men and their intentions and the level of slim that has been hitting on me lately concerns me.
So I made the choice last night to be a friend to everyone but to not try so hard in the love department. I got ready yesterday morning and threw on my pair of size 20 light blue jeans that are so soft and comfortable that I figured why not bring the new year in with comfort? Only… they were too big. Thankfully my best friend’s sister gave me a huge bag of cloths before the surgery because I now own about 4 pairs of 18 jeans. So I held up the jeans and went to the closet to grab the pair I had laying there to inspire my new found drive in weight loss. Pulled them on and they fit! I couldn’t believe it. I am so happy!
So off I went to the poker game and when I got there Pat, Veah, BB, A (his wife) their kids, W, B and the rest of the gang was there. After hugs, Pat picking me up and cracking my back I settled into a chair and was handed coffee with Captain Morgan’s Tattoo (dark spiced rum totally yummy) and that’s what I drank most of the night. Mind you I drank myself sober (ok I went to the bathroom and when I came out after washing my hands and face I was stone cold sober.)
Back to poker I won three hands in a row and then my luck ran out and I didn’t win another hand that night but because I won three large chip pots I ended winning over all via chip. Then after midnight and kisses and hugs were handed out, and we tried to figure out which sober driver was driving which drunk ass home (I was with in walking distance.) and there was a few issues with W and B wanting to drive while intoxicated to the point where B was passing out in a chair… but that was taken care of and people started to leave. Well Pat and I started to tell jokes and everyone that was left was laughing their asses off. Well it was getting late so Mike drove Pat and Veah (step daughter) home and I rode with to make sure that Mike stayed awake. He dropped me off at my door (he really didn’t have too but he was nice) and I came in made my bed and passed out. I woke up around 8 this morning with the feeling of dumping.
You see after you’ve had gastric bypass any alcoholic drink you consume has sugar in it and too much will cause gas bubbles and dumping. So I spent most of my morning dumping and not hung over. That passed thankfully and Jet made and awesome dinner tonight so now that I have eaten, I’m not going to lie I’m tired. Staying up this late is not something I’m used to anymore.
In 23 days I turn 28… I’m not excited about this. For a variety of reasons. Mostly I feel like I fail. I’m 28 and my life just hasn’t gotten off the ground yet. So here’s to getting that started.